Wagons

I adore station wagons. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. Being a late "Gen X-er", the station wagon was still king of the road when I was a little kid. Each family in my neighborhood had at least one wagon in the driveway. Next door, there was the Pontiac LeMans Safari, my family had a Plymouth Volare with a three-speed on the floor, and the family across the street had a lovely 145 Volvo that remained with them until the mid-1990s. A really nice Vista Cruiser graced the lawn of the professor down the street and the dentist had a vinylwood-sided Buick LeSabre Estate. All were body-on-frame constructed monsters (save for the Volvo and the Plymouth), had acres of stowage, and could carry nine people in relative comfort (with little regard for safety of course). If your parents didn't have a wagon, they had a full sized van complete with tables, chairs, and fireplaces! There was the one odd dad at the end of the street who had a Suburban, but he also owned a hunting cabin in Potter County, so it was o.k. that the world shook as he drove by. This bliss all changed in 1983 when the minivan was reinvented by the pentastar corporation.

I can remember with clarity when the wagons began to disappear from my surroundings. The Pontiac was supplanted with a Caravan. Soon after, the Chevy conversion van was replaced by the same vehicle, yet the rear gate said "Voyager" instead. Even a third grader was able to figure out the ruse, but I chose not to say anything while the four-bangers slapped away in a chorus as the moms chatted in the street- one coming, one going- interrupting an afternoon football game. In the elementary school's drop-off zone, more and more minivans were finding duties as child transport units. I can recall piles of wagons on the shady (not in a good way) used-car lots on the road heading out of town. My dad would stop and look on occasion. I suppose he was thinking about moving up from the Volare, but that never happened, much to my dismay. I always liked the Vista Cruiser.

The following year, the Buick lost it's spot in the neighborhood line-up to a Jeep Cherokee. It said "Jeep" on it, but it certainly didn't look like anything GI Joe would drive. The Suburban was replaced by a Jeep as a daily driver as well, but that I now understand as a full-time, four wheel drive truck is no way to get around town in an efficient manner! The 145 kept serving the family across the street, but it too lost it's primary vehicle status to a minivan. The Volvo did continue to perform quite well as a college hauler until it finally returned to a mound of iron oxide and residual hydrocarbons, outliving the Chrysler by at least five years.

The last straw came when my dad returned home one day in a Chevy Astro Van. It was just a test drive, but I knew the Plymouth's days were numbered. The Volare was having more and more trouble pulling the camper, so he thought it best to move the family into a more reliable mode of transport for trips over 25 miles away from home. Looking back, it was an excellent decision as the Volare was generally a crappy car, but I didn't realize that then. I loved that car for all of its faults. The Volare was the car that I took back and forth from Kindergarten, Little League games, and football practices with my mom at the helm. It was also the car on which I learned how to drive stick, and the first car I parted-out (I still have the grill!). The era of the wagon had come to an end in my family too.

As we all know, the minivan soon became the bane of younger boomers and the age of the SUV began in earnest with the Ford Explorer leading the way. What I never quite understood about mid-sized SUVs was the size:interior volume ratio. From the outside, a Ford Explorer is huge. Open it up, and the girth disappears. My 1990 245 has much more usable space than any similar era Explorer or Cherokee could muster, plus I can get 32 miles per gallon on the highway. Owning an SUV almost became a urination contest- the one with the tallest, mobile air brake wins. With all of the new SUVs on the road, minivans began piling up on the shady lots outside of town. Now that the crossover has arrived, Ford Explorers trade like Bazooka bubblegum wrappers.

With the overall global energy situation getting tighter and tighter on an annual basis, I think it is time to bring the station wagon back to the forefront of personal mobility. The wagon is the perfect combination of form and function, in my humble opinion. Sure, a third row is nice (buy a V70), AWD is a decent feature (how many times have you honestly used your AWD in the last year- be honest), and sitting high is nice too, but all of this is really unnecessary when a humble Mazda wagon will run circles around a glorified, leggy Camry.

I was so excited to read that Pontiac was going to offer the G8 in a wagon, complete with a V-8 and a manual transmission. I was equally disappointed when Mr. Lutz determined that the business climate did not exist to make the G8 economically feasible. I say, give the market a shot. The Magnum is not a good example of what the market is like for a proper wagon as it is ugly and has a vile interior, much like the Volare! I believe the members of Generations X and Y are bound to take up the mantle of the wagon, especially if the said steed is great to look at, great to sit in, and great to drive (all of which the Magnum is not). Until then, my livery of two Volvos and one Mazda, all wagons of course, will have to do. I won't hold my breath for the CTS Sportwagon either!

Here Come the 1,2, 3s....

Last Tuesday (2/05/2008), yet another fine recording was released- They Might Be Giants' follow up to Here Come the ABCs, Here Come the 123s. To be honest, I was a bit concerned when I read that TMBG were working on a numbers based collection of tunes. I grew up with Bob Dorough as a mentor of sorts (he was a friend of the family) and Multiplication Rock was a staple of my limited record collection as a child. I still find that collection of songs nearly perfect and the notion of any other artist attempting to even broach the subject of numbers within children's songs makes me nervous. Of course, this is TMBG we're talking about...

Here Come the 123s is a fantastic collection of songs that are as creative as they care "catchy". John Flansburgh and John Linnell have always been able to compose smart and melodic songs, are both quite capable musicians, and both typically surround themselves with stellar backing musicians. However, it seems as though the duo have really begun to weave their past, sort-of underground successes into marketing gold of late. This is due to their seemingly endless supply of tunes that are beginning to extend into varied facets of pop culture. If your kids watch "Playhouse Disney", listen closely! If you're watching sitcoms- listen not only to theme songs, but to the commercial soundtracks as well. These guys are everywhere and I think that is great! Our culture needs more interesting music infused among the schlock on Top 40 radio and the singular, early morning countdown show on VH-1.

The They Might Be Giants Here Come the 123's record is a great album to provide your youngsters at home. The album includes 27 tracks that you and your family will singing together in no time! There is also a companion DVD that is included in the packaging that both my four year old son and two year old daughter are riveted to when running on the television. My personal favorite tracks are Zeroes (excellent harmonies), One Everything (much like the band Huffamoose in a way), Triops Has Three Eyes (an homage to the humble triops) and finally Nonagon (yes, all about shapes). The four mentioned tracks are all great, yet I do not intend to discount the remainder of the record. Try it, you'll like it!

If you have smaller children at home, and are looking for music that is good for children, yet tolerable for you to listen to as well, buy the entire catalog! TMBG have produced three albums for children and each would make an excellent addition to any record collection. Head over to Amazon and order all of them today!